Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories

funny jokes and stories


Welcome to our collection of jokes and funny stories. We hope that you will find them humorous.

On this website you will find American jokes, British jokes, childrens jokes, humorous insults, knock knock jokes, joke questions, your mama jokes and much more.

We have just added an online store where you can buy fancy dress costumes

Our 'Joke of the Day' for Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
"I don't know, and I don't care."

Here are some random jokes

British Humour

British Humour

When a famous admiral died, the Royal Navy wanted to lay on a grand ceremony in his honour. After two hours of speeches and hymns, it was suggested that the event should end with a cannon salute. That was when the organisation of the ceremony threatened to run into trouble for nobody on the four-man planning committee could seem to agree on the number of shots that should be fired in the salute. ''I think one shot would be perfect,'' said the first captain. ''It would be moving and deeply symbolic.'' ''I think there should be two,'' suggested the second captain, 'in honour of the two great battles he won.'' ''Well, I think we should have three shots,'' said the third captain, 'as a mark of respect to the number of ships he commanded.' The fourth captain puffed quietly on his pipe until asked for his opinion. ''There's no argument,'' he said. 'We must fire four shots at the end of the ceremony to commemorate the late admiral's four decorations for gallantry. In fact, I have already discussed the matter with the Queen, and it has all been approved.'' With that, the other three captains stormed out of the room. One turned at the door and said: ''We wouldn't have bothered coming if we had known it was a four-gun conclusion!''

From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philippa.
Philippa who?
Philippa bath, I'm very dirty.

From the ''Knock Knock'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
Childrens

Childrens

Why was the guy fired from the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate.

From the ''Childrens'' jokes category
American Humor

American Humor

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, ''Are there any gators around here?!'' ''Naw,'' the man hollered back, ''they ain't been any around here for years!'' ''Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely towards the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, ''How'd you get rid of the gators?'' ''We didn't do nothin','' the beachcomber said. ''The sharks got 'em.''

From the ''American Humor'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Childrens

Childrens

Where do you take your dog if it loses its tail. A re-tail store.

From the ''Childrens'' jokes category
Famous Books

Famous Books

Winter Driving Tips by I. C. Rhodes

From the ''Famous Books'' subcategory of the ''Humorous'' jokes category
British Humour

British Humour

''Well, Michael, I hear, you drove your car to London for the first time.'' 'I did that, George.' 'And how did you find the traffic in London?' ''Well, it wasn't as bad as I expected. When I got there, I found a parking space right away. It was in front of a fire station and there was even a big sign outside saying FINE FOR PARKING.''

From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Fish

Fish

Why is it so easy to find out how much a fish weighs?
They have their own scales.

From the ''Fish'' subcategory of the ''Animals'' jokes category
Humorous Insults

Humorous Insults

He's a renewable energy source for hot air balloons.

From the ''Humorous Insults'' subcategory of the ''Humorous'' jokes category