Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories

funny jokes and stories


Welcome to our collection of jokes and funny stories. We hope that you will find them humorous.

On this website you will find American jokes, British jokes, childrens jokes, humorous insults, knock knock jokes, joke questions, your mama jokes and much more.

We have just added an online store where you can buy fancy dress costumes

Our 'Joke of the Day' for Saturday, February 24th, 2018

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
Because Donald Ducked.

Here are some random jokes

What Do You

What Do You

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a rose?
A flower that tries to bite your throat when you sniff it.

From the ''What Do You'' subcategory of the ''Questions'' jokes category
Old Age

Old Age

Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

From the ''Old Age'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Witches

Witches

What happened to the witch who misbehaved at school?
She was ex-spelled.

From the ''Witches'' subcategory of the ''Monster'' jokes category
Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tinkerbell.
Tinkerbell who?
Tinkerbell would save me having to keep knocking.

From the ''Knock Knock'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
Police

Police

An idiot was picked up by the police on an assault charge. He was placed in an identity lineup with ten other men and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. The idiot jumped forward, and screamed ''That's her! That's her! I'd recognize her anywhere!''

From the ''Police'' subcategory of the ''Law'' jokes category
Office Humor

Office Humor

Which is better - being in prison or working in an office?
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8'x 10' cell. In the office you spend most of your time in a 6'x 8'cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. In the office you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. In prison you get time off for good behavior. In the office you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. In the office you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison you can watch TV and play games. In the office you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. In the office you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. In the office you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. In prison you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out. In the office you spend your time wanting to get out and inside bars. In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. In the office there are some programs you can never get out of. In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. In the office we have managers.

From the ''Office Humor'' subcategory of the ''Work'' jokes category
Bar

Bar

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says ''You can't bring that dog in here!'' The guy, without missing a beat, says ''This is my seeing-eye dog.'' ''Oh man, '' the bartender says, ''I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me.'' The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says ''You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog.'' The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says ''Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!'' The second man replies ''This is my seeing-eye dog.''
The bartender says, ''No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.''
The man pauses for a second and replies ''What! They gave me a Chihuahua?''

From the ''Bar'' subcategory of the ''Drunks'' jokes category
Did You Hear About

Did You Hear About

Did you hear about the world's worst athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.

From the ''Did You Hear About'' subcategory of the ''Questions'' jokes category
Old Age

Old Age

Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.

From the ''Old Age'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category