Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories

funny jokes and stories


Welcome to our collection of jokes and funny stories. We hope that you will find them humorous.

On this website you will find American jokes, British jokes, childrens jokes, humorous insults, knock knock jokes, joke questions, your mama jokes and much more.

We have just added an online store where you can buy fancy dress costumes

Our 'Joke of the Day' for Sunday, May 27th, 2018

Fred: My girlfriend is one of twins.
Brian: How can you tell them apart?
Fred: It's easy, her brother's got a beard.

Here are some random jokes

Tennis

Tennis

What sport should waiters be good at?
Tennis, because they are good at serving.

From the ''Tennis'' subcategory of the ''Sports'' jokes category
Elephants

Elephants

While taking a long drink at a pond, an elephant happened to glance up and spot a giant snapping turtle lazing on a nearby stone. It's eyes narrowing, the elephant lumbered over and wacked the turtle repeatedly with his trunk. And, for good measure, he raised a foot delicatedly and squashed the turtle flat with a mighty stomp. A zebra, passing by, saw this attack, and approached the elephant with intention to investigate. He arrived just as the elephant was shaking his paw disdainfully to dislodge the remnants of the turtle. ''Why did you do such a such a vile deed?'', neighed the zebra. ''This is the same animal that bit the tip of my trunk over 8 years ago!'' ''How can you be so certain?'', inquired the zebra, ''you would need to have an infallible memory!'' Raising it's head proudly, the elephant said, ''Turtle recall!''

From the ''Elephants'' subcategory of the ''Animals'' jokes category
Your Mama

Your Mama

Yo momma's so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her!

From the ''Your Mama'' subcategory of the ''Classic'' jokes category
British Humour

British Humour

'I just bought my mother-in-law a Jaguar.' 'But I thought you didn't like her.' 'I know what I'm doing, it's bitten her twice already.'

From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category
Ghosts

Ghosts

What type of pupils do they have at ghost schools?
Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.

From the ''Ghosts'' subcategory of the ''Monster'' jokes category
Divorce

Divorce

Two men are talking. The first one says, "The reason that I got married was because I was tired of having to eat out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing worn-out clothes."
"That's amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very same reasons."

From the ''Divorce'' subcategory of the ''Weddings and Marriage'' jokes category
Animals

Animals

There were these three wildebeests out in the desert: a Papa wildebeest, a Mama wildebeest, and a baby wildebeest. They're travelling along, trying to get home, but they get lost and are trying to find their way out of the desert. The sun beats down and it gets hotter and hotter. The poor wildebeests get thirstier and weaker. Finally, the Papa wildebeest collapses from the heat and dies. The Mama and baby continue, but soon the Mama wildebeest also collapses and dies. The baby struggles on for a while, but he, too, is finally overcome and dies. That's the end of the gnus. Now, for the weather!

From the ''Animals'' jokes category
Apartment

Apartment

George: So how much are they asking for the rent on this apartment now?
Brian: Usually about twice a week.

From the ''Apartment'' jokes category
British Humour

British Humour

A passenger sitting in the back of a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. Suddenly the driver screams, loses control of the vehicle, nearly hits a bus, mounts the pavement, and stops inches from a shop window. For a second, everything is quiet in the cab, then the driver turns round to the passenger and says: ''Don't ever do that to me again. You scared the living daylights out of me!'' The passenger apologises and says he didn't realise that a little tap could scare someone so much. The driver replies: ''Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver - for the last 25 years I've been driving a hearse.''

From the ''British Humour'' subcategory of the ''People'' jokes category