Kiss & Tell | Nicolandria FF

Part 36

a/n: this was unexpected for me to write but i don't regret it :p

It started when you were thirteen, but you realized it at sixteen:

You understood love.

And of course, you've been told a thousand times--you're too young to know love, too young to understand love. Love as a teen? It was nothing but infatuation, nothing but hormones and the lack of a frontal lobe convincing you that it was more than it actually was.

But you knew it. You understood it.

You understood love.

Your first boyfriend was a year older than you, and his braces caught to your lips when you kissed. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was a kiss that mattered--blood dripping down your chin, your bottom lip swollen, your cheeks pulled up from your big bright smile.

And he walked you to class, he held your hand, he told his friends all about you. You were smitten, absolutely smitten.

You've read about this type of love before--in the books resting in your teacher's library, in the books you read while your parents argued on and on. You've read about this type of love; this type of love that made you smile too big and squeal and giggle and your face flush red.

You've read about this type of love.

But you've also read what would happen when it was gone.

He moved away and didn't bother to keep in contact. You cried until you threw up and then cried some more. Food tasted plain, and your heart ached so much. Your mom didn't know what was going on with you--she said you were acting different.

How were you supposed to tell her that you made the same mistake she did and fell in love?

But soon the rise and fall of love came as easy as breathing. Love came to you easy and went just as easily.

It helped that you were so pretty. In high school, the boys approached you. It made your friends jealous how easy it was for you to attract a boy. It made your friends scold you when you couldn't keep those boys. You never understood it--this part of love.

Why did love come and go so easily?

Why couldn't you make it stay?

Well, you were fifteen and skipping class. You closed your locker to the sight of a senior you've been crushing on--a senior who gave you hugs and told you how pretty you were and sent you memes and made your stomach twist. He approached you and gave you that perfect hug.

And then he asked if you wanted to go down to the locker room.

That was how you lost your virginity.

In a stinky locker room, struggling and awkward, but you were elated, so so elated. He was touching you, and kissing you, and telling you how pretty you were. And you knew what sex was, you weren't stupid. But sex had always seemed so intimate, something that happened between lovers.

It lasted less than a minute, but all 45 seconds had been magical--a union of sweat, legs, and rapidly beating hearts. He cleaned you up before saying he had to go to class. You sat there in the boy's locker room, heart pounding out of your chest, a bright smile on your face as you texted your friends:

'guess what i just did ;)'

Your friends warned you to stop, but it was a pointless warning.

He still had sex with you after that. He still called you beautiful. And you realized that sex was what kept love around. So you worked to get better at it. Waved it in his face when you felt love slipping.