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Humorous Jokes about Drunks

This is our collection of humorous jokes and funny stories about drunks.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that people are laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up in the morning wondering what happened to your clothes.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major cause of dancing like an idiot.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you are a good singer.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

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A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge.

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Drunk 1: Do lemons have wings?
Drunk 2: What?
Drunk 1: I said, do lemons have wings?
Drunk 2: Of course not. Drunk 1: Oh no, I think I just squeezed a canary into my drink!

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I'm not as think as you stoned I am

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A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer. 'What are you doing out at this time of night?' asked the officer. 'I'm going to a lecture,' slurred the drunk. 'And who's going to give a lecture at this hour?' 'My wife.'


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