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Restaurant and Food Jokes

Here is our collection of humorous jokes and funny stories about restaurants and food.
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What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
"We have vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate.

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Diner: I say waiter, there's only one piece of meat on my plate.
Waiter: Hold on sir, I'll cut it in two.

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Diner: Waiter, why is my pie all broken?
Waiter: Well, when ordered the pie you did ask me to step on it, sir.

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Did you hear about the nasty chef?
He liked to batter the fish and beat the eggs.

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Waiter, will you ask the band to play something for me?
Of course sir. What would you like them to play?
How about cards?

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Waiter, waiter, I have a complaint.
You have a complaint? Well this is a restaurant not a hospital.

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Waiter: We have almost everything on the menu.
Customer: Yes, I can see that, please bring me a clean one.

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He thinks that a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

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Diner: Waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig to eat. Waiter: I'll bring you some that is, sir.

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Customer: Do you have a sheep's head?
Butcher: No, mam, it's just the way I part my hair.


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