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Our Joke of the Day Archive - Page 9


This is page 9 of 'Our Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Friday, January 26th, 2024 to Thursday, February 1st, 2024.

Our Joke of the day for Thursday, February 1st, 2024

What is the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
"I didn't wake up this morning..."

Our Joke of the day for Wednesday, January 31st, 2024

The MacTavish brothers decided that one of their number would go to America and make his fortune, coming back to share with the rest of them. The youngest, Ian, was chosen for this task. Off he went, and he worked hard in America, and earned himself a fortune over a few years, and wired his brothers that he'd be returning with it. When he came back to Scotland he got off the boat, and looked around for his brothers, but could not see anyone who looked familiar. Finally, a group of bearded strangers approached. "Ho, Ian, are ye not knowing yer own brothers?" asked the first one. Then Ian realized his brothers had grown beards.
"Fer heaven's sake, laddies, what would ye be growin' them beards for, now?" he asked.
"We had to, lad, ye took the razor wi' ye!"

Our Joke of the day for Tuesday, January 30th, 2024

A wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have some exciting news for you. Soon there's going to be three of us in this house instead of two."
The husband ran to her and hugged her. He was glowing with happiness, but then his wife said, "I'm glad you're are so happy about my mother coming to stay with us."

Our Joke of the day for Monday, January 29th, 2024

How do you stop your pet dog digging up your garden?
Take away his spade.

Our Joke of the day for Sunday, January 28th, 2024

A dilapidated and very ancient Ford pulled into the local garage. 'Could you let me have half a gallon of petrol?' asked the old fellow at the wheel.
'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.
'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'

Our Joke of the day for Saturday, January 27th, 2024

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shirley.
Shirley who?
Shirley you know who I am by now.

Our Joke of the day for Friday, January 26th, 2024

A Scotsman was on a fishing trip in the northwoods of Canada. "What's that over yonder'?" the Scotsman asked of his guide. "That's a moose, eh," said the guide. "Aye!" exclaimed the Scotsman, with raised eyebrow. "If that be a moose, I'd be sure an to hate to see your rats!"


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